TRIGGER WARNING
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When you have to sift through boxes of stuff that you haven't seen since you left your husband and need to be stoned to cope. Then you find the blue tyedye beach throw that you were raped on. The one that you were going to burn with yout new boyfriend-financeé-husband-lying, cheating, fucking asshole ex husband! That damn hippie throw followed you across the state, probably packed for you by the evil ex. Then you see it and you start to dissociate until you almost have a seizure. Flashbacks, wee! Then you break down sobbing in your mother's arms. Your sister tries to help your mom and the two of them half carry you inside while your service dog keeps circling you. Then they lay you down on your bed while the dog covers your face in kisses. Then you fall onto the floor and it feels like there's snot on your face. Using the selfie function as a mirror you see that there's no snot. You decide to share it on Facebook. While writing about the snot, you wonder why you are sharing it on Facebook. You realize that you are still stoned. Did the THC stop the PNES? Interesting thought...
I spent over half of yesterday reliving hell. This morning, my parents dog jumps over our wall to go visit other dogs. We get a new couch and the old one gets put against the wall until free dump day. I mention that it needs to be moved before she arrived. No one listened and she went visiting today. I thought she was in my housemate's room and he thought she was in my room. But she took off before the owner of the other dogs could catch her. The woman stopped at our door and told us. The lady took off after her in the car, housemate when in another direction and I went in the direction the lady saw her go on foot. Barefoot, no cane, no meds, in pajamas with a dog leash in hand.
I got around the corner, still calling for her. A police car pulled up and asked me if I'd made the call. I looked in the back of his cruiser but no dog. Confused, I asked him if it was about the dog. He said it was about a child. He asked me where I live and if it's a medium black dog. I tell him where and yes. He said that a tall guy just grabbed her. I turned around, feeling every tiny pebble under my feet. The kind lady gave me a thumbs-up and I waved to her, yelling my thanks. Housemate came and found me but I stumbled my way home.
Blasted dog greeted me happily, couches have been moved so she can't jump again and both dogs are in my room. Housemate went to pick up a prescription at my doctor's office and get us donuts. Double dose of anti-anxiety meds down the throat.
Family is NOT getting told. The two of us will get blamed for it and my dad will trigger the hell out of me. Not the idiot who enabled her to escape. Staying in this bed for the rest of the day. Can't handle shit right now.
