Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Friday, October 16, 2015

Depression: An Expression Through Dance

TRIGGER WARNING-mentions suicide







I often can't explain why I'm depressed even though I wish I could. Is there a rhyme or reason for this darkness, I don't know. People tell me to just snap out of it and I wish I could! Maybe if I understood why I was so sad, I could do something about it! Maybe if those who say that they love me actually saw the real me instead of my reflection would help. But do I let them see the real me? Would they want to, could they handle it? Could I deal with the real me on a daily basis? Or do I just keep hiding because no one wants to deal with this and I'd lose the few friends I have? Would they even care if I was gone?

<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/138671116" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe>

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Musings while Medicated: My response to someone about my mom's choice and um, yeah.

Being CF, pro-choice and mentally ill rant:
When you say that it's the women's choice and some douche asks "what if your mom had aborted you?"  "So what if she had? We'd probably be a lot happier. I wouldn't have been exposed to a childhood of narcissistic douchebaggery and domestic violence. I wouldn't have grown up with chronic pain, with frequent stomach aches that were never investigated. I wouldn't have searched for love quickly, stupidly and in all the wrong places. Meeting with that guy online and he used you for 4 months. But you couldn't tell your family. Avoiding it all together? Great!  But can't leave those emotions behind, chronic pain worsens, you can't work and the doctors put you on 20 pills a day. But your parents who didn't abort you are bitching about supporting you while you wait on the government. Too bad they didn't abort me, they wouldn't have had an expensive but defective child so more money and less heartache for them and I wouldn't have had such a miserable fucking life!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

The Bent Foods Store

There's this store I loved to go to. If there was still Christmas candy in May, it was at this store. If a pallet got dropped and some cans broke, all of it was sent to this store. Same if some boxes got smashed.  A company was changing their packaging, special super bowl labels and the game is over, it was all at this store. The bent foods store. It wasn't perfect, maybe wasn't always everything you ever wanted but people loved it and flocked to it.

I may be bent up a lot, smashed up a bit, ragged around the edges, out of season, not always the highest quality but people still come to me and love me.

This post is dedicated to Wizard, she knows what I'm talking about.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Having a Severe Mental Illness Means Dying Young

People diagnosed with serious mental illness -- schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or severe depression -- die 20 years early, on average, because of a combination of lousy medical care, smoking, lack of exercise, complications of medication, suicide, and accidents. They are the most discriminated-against and neglected group in the U.S., which has become probably the worst place in the developed world to be mentally ill.

In many previous blog posts I have bemoaned the shameful state of psychiatric care and housing for people with severe mental illness. My conclusion was that the United States has become the worst place, and now the worst time ever, to have a severe mental illness. Hundreds of thousands of the severely ill languish inappropriately in prisons. Additional hundreds of thousands are homeless on the street.

But it gets worse. Having a severe mental illness also means that you will probably die very young. I have asked Dr. Peter Weiden to explain why, and to suggest what we should do about it. He is a professor of psychiatry at the University of Illinois College of Medicine and has spent his professional career working on improving outcomes and reducing side effects and complications for people with serious mental illness.

Dr. Weiden writes:

In the general population, our life expectancy in the United States is approximately 80 years (77.4 years for men, and 82.2 years for women). This is a stunning improvement in life expectancy since back in the 1970's when life expectancies were a full decade shorter, around 70 years. The rapid and profound decrease in smoking is probably the single most important factor.

Certain groups do not share this good fortune. For example, black Americans live about 5 fewer years than whites. But one group suffers by far the most- with an average of 20 years of reduced life, in the ballpark of the life expectancy in Rwanda or Afghanistan.

Who is dying so young? You might think it would be people with HIV or severe asthma or some other serious medical condition. But it is not. As you have guessed by now, the group in question are those with a diagnosis of serious mental illness-schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or treatment resistant depression.

It has been known for many years that individuals with serious mental illness were more likely to have medical problems like diabetes, hypertension, or heart disease, but most of the mortality concern was on suicide prevention and other kinds of injuries that come from poorly controlled psychiatric symptoms.

The wake up call came in 2006 when a groundbreaking study of mortality statistics showed that individuals with severe mental illness were dying ranged between 13 and 31years early, averaging to over 20 years of life lost relative to age matched general populations. Their causes of death were actually very similar to the causes of death in the general population, only happening on average about 20 years earlier.

While suicide and accidental deaths are still much more likely to happen in the severely mentally ill relative to general population, these are still relatively uncommon, whereas there is a doubling or tripling of the mortality from heart disease, diabetes, respiratory ailments, and cancer. People mostly die in their 50s of the same problems that kill off the rest of us 20 years later.

Many reasons conspire to create this shameful statistic. People with severe mental illness are less likely to take good care of themselves, more likely to smoke heavily and have sedentary lifestyles, and have more difficulty than most negotiating the complicated medical care system to go for appointments and follow-up care. And primary care physicians are not well trained or compensated for the additional complexities involved in diagnosing or treating medical problems in the severely ill.

A word about medications for mental illness, and their role in mortality. It is a complicated question because medications can be very effective in controlling psychiatric symptoms so that patients are better able to reduce medical risks and actively participate in medical care. On the other hand, some medications cause significant weight gain and dyslipidemia (increase in triglycerides and cholesterol) which can make the already bad situation worse. This dilemma is better now that there are effective medications that do not often cause weight gain or elevated lipids. Though this remains a vexing challenge for mental health professionals, the major problem seems to be the greater number of medical risk factors among persons with mental illness and their lack of access to high quality medical care.

A growing research literature shows that bringing the medical doctor to the psychiatric patient works much better than trying to bring the patient to regular medical services. The merging of primary psychiatric care with primary medical care is urgently needed.

Is this too much to ask? When we get surgery we expect other doctors to be available. The surgeon will be surrounded by a team including radiologists, anesthetists, and if there are heart problems a cardiologist. Having an appropriate medical team working together is usually not available for those who have psychiatric conditions.

Which throws the basic inequality into stark relief. Society would not tolerate 20 years of lost life expectancy for other groups, even those that also suffer discrimination like Latino or blacks or gays. If this were HIV or breast cancer or multiple sclerosis, we would not tolerate the total fragmentation of healthcare as we do with mental illness.

We are complacent because the lives of those with severe mental illness do not matter to us. Unless the person dying young is your parent or your child, or your brother.

Thanks so much, Peter, for this glum but much-needed assessment. Until recently I assumed that the reduced life expectancy in the severely ill was attributable to the "big four" factors of lousy medical care, heavy smoking, sedentary lifestyle, and antipsychotic use. To my great surprise a large and well-conducted study recently found the lowest mortality in the severely ill who had received low to moderate doses as compared with those who had taken no medicine or high doses. This is just one study, and it can be interpreted in different ways, but it does suggest that antipsychotics are less the culprit in early death than I had imagined.

This possibility should focus our attention even more on lousy medical care and smoking. Clearly we mustn't just improve the totally inadequate psychiatric care and housing currently provided for the severely ill. We must also follow Dr. Weiden's suggestion that medical care be an essential part of the package, along with smoking cessation and exercise.

Will anything change? The (non)treatment of severe mental illness in the U.S. is our national shame. This is a voiceless constituency in the U.S. that very few people seem to care about. It is different in much of Europe, where enlightened policies and adequate funding for the severely ill lead to decent lives in the community and better health care.

There is always an outcry from the media and our politicians when there is poor health care for the military, children, women or ethnic minorities. Everyone went crazy when one person died of Ebola. We should be deeply ashamed of ourselves for neglecting the severely ill, creating a system that imprisons them, renders them homeless, and allows them to die so young. We need a Charles Dickens to illustrate their plight, and a new Pinel to free them of their chains. Two centuries ago the Age of Enlightenment banished the idea that mental illness was caused by witchcraft or possession. As Harry Stack Sullivan put it, people with schizophrenia were more simply human than otherwise. It's long past time that we remembered this and acted accordingly.

Allen Frances is a professor emeritus at Duke University and was the chairman of the DSM-IV task force.

http://huffpost.com/us/entry/6369630

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Ice Building Up

I've been so cold lately. The depression, pain and anxiety are just building up more ice in my body. I just want to stay bundled up in my bed with the TV, my phone or both. I need distractions to keep my mind off of how cold I am.  HE is home more and that just sends me to my bed more. When he's not here, I'm warmer. I get out of bed more, I want to do things and I smile. He's going to be gone tomorrow and I'm already planning what I'm going to get done. I'm looking forward to my chores. How sad is that?

Monday, February 2, 2015

Rambling About The Snow Queen

The Snow Queen is a huge part of my life. I would like to say that she doesn't rule me but she does. I am not her but she definitely exerts a lot power over me. But there is glass within me. Yet I'm always looking for ways to melt the glass inside of me.  Yet it seems like when a little glass has melted, the Snow Queen has put more inside me.